Dear friend,
Stand in awe, and don’t sin. Search your own heart on your bed, and be still. Selah.
I threw a spatula across the kitchen once. Not at anyone. Just threw it because the sink was clogged and my daughter was crying and my husband asked if dinner was almost ready, and something in me just went. It hit the cabinet and left a mark that is still there. I look at it sometimes and remember how fast it happened, like the anger had been standing behind a door the whole time waiting for someone to open it a crack.
I am not going to tell you to let it go. I do not think that is how it works anyway. This week I keep thinking about how sitting with anger gets treated like a problem to solve by Monday, when really it just sits there, heavy, sometimes for good reason. Psalm 4 has a line about being angry without letting it turn into something worse, and what gets me is that it does not say do not be angry. It assumes you will be. It just asks what you do with it once you are standing in the middle of it.
What is the anger actually about, underneath the part that is easy to name?
A prayer
God, she is angry and tired of pretending otherwise. Do not rush her past it. Sit with her in it tonight, and show her what is underneath, in Your own time. Amen.