Dear friend,
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the LORD.
I checked the mailbox every day for six weeks once, waiting on a response about a job I wanted badly. I made myself sick over it, honestly. Checked twice some days like the mail would move faster if I wanted it enough. It didn't. I got a no, eventually, typed and short.
This week I keep thinking about how waiting on something has two totally different textures depending on the day. Some days it feels like holding my breath. Other days it just feels like my regular life with a hole in the middle of it. Psalm 27 has that line about waiting for the Lord, being strong, taking heart. What gets me is it's repeated. Wait for the Lord. Then again, wait for the Lord. Like the writer knew once wouldn't be enough to actually land it.
I don't think the repetition is filler. I think it's because waiting wears off. You believe it in the morning and lose it by three o'clock, and someone had to write it twice so you'd have it again for tomorrow.
What does the hole in the middle of your day actually look like right now?
A prayer
God, the waiting is wearing on her in ways that shift day to day. Where she's lost heart, give it back. Stay close in the parts that feel like nothing is happening. Amen.