Dear friend,
Love is patient and is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil;
I keep thinking about a fight my husband and I had over, I kid you not, a dishwasher. It was never about the dishwasher. It was about feeling unseen for three weeks straight and picking the smallest possible hill to finally say so on. We were both so tired we said things we had to walk back later, and walking them back took longer than the fight did.
This week I keep coming back to the part in 1 Corinthians 13 about love keeping no record of wrongs. Not because I have that mastered. Because I noticed how much effort it takes to not keep the record, which tells me it was never meant to be easy or automatic. Someone had to fight the ledger in themselves to write that line. I still catch myself tallying. I am just trying to catch myself faster than I used to.
Struggling in your marriage does not mean you married wrong or you are failing some test only you can see. What is the smallest true thing you have not said to him yet?
A prayer
God, the tiredness between them is real and You know its shape better than either of us does. Soften the ledger-keeping in her heart and give her one honest sentence to offer him. Amen.